I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
