oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
