This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
