Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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