Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
