The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
In other news, I just burned my penis
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
