HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
