It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
