And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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