Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
