SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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