Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
