i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
