I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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