my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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