I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
