She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
