oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
