I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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