Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
