This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
A bitchslap is in order.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
