Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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