so that wasnt chicken after all
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
