I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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