i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
