Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
