she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you never un-have a 4some
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
