i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
