I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
