ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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