in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
