So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
