About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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