We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
