living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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