if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
