just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
