i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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