What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
