Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
