She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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