the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
