moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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