I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
