so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
