Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
