whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
