If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
