Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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