I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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