I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
