their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
not ubering you a puppy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
