So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
